What Makes You Happy?

I feel so sad and depressed after my last post and started to think of things that makes me happy. There are a lot of things that makes me laugh, my siblings, my dogs, my friends, photos, TV shows. Laughter is all around us! A vice man once said: “There are the little things around us that make us happy!” And there is nothing but truth in that sentence. 

     Music makes me happy! If I am feeling down I just put my favourite record on and I get happy right away. I think music got a healing power, like a hug or a smile. If you fill your soul and mind with music nothing can go wrong! Watching YouTube videos also makes me happy. Seeing someone doing something that makes them happy makes me happy. I also love writing! A story, poems, my blog, seeing on paper what I am thinking is very healing for me. It is kind a like talking to a shrink. I like to read, I like to watch telly, I like to sleep, there are so many things that make me happy but sometimes it is just hard to remember those things.

   Then there are the little things in our life’s that makes us laugh. When my brother is dancing like Elvis or when my sister is being silly and telling jokes. I am most happy when I am with my siblings. Just doing something simple like watching telly or playing cards. Even when we are fighting over the computer or over football, the time I spend with my siblings is the time I treasure the most.
   If you are not feeling happy, something is not right. If you can’t remember the last time you laughed but the last time you cried was an hour ago, I recommend you to see a doctor. Through my teenage years I felt miserable most of the time. At the time I was at my worst I stopped singing and whistling, I stopped laugh and smile. I knew I was depressed but what I didn’t know was that depression is not a weakness it is illness. But 7 months ago I went to see my doctor and he put on a medication and I have felt happy since then. But I still have my down days but it doesn’t happen very often. My last depression breakdown was weeks ago.

   But when I feel down I make a list of what makes me happy: music, movies, dogs, cows, family, nature, YouTube, BlogSpot, chocolate, shopping, sleep, design houses, drawing, writing, partying, dancing, singing, talking, LAUGHING!!!
   Make sure, if you are reading, that you leave your list of happiness in the comments. I am now listening to my favourite song that just popped up on the radio, writing my blog and my family is sitting in the living room so I am feeling pretty happy and pretty tired!
   Until next time, enjoy life and let go!  

Elisabeth

    

Back to the future!

Other week means another blog. And I thought I’d write about the future. It’s a scary word, a scary feeling. When I was young I was asked, like most of you, “what are you gonna do in the future?” And I would say that I was going to be a spice-girl, a designer, a spy, a teacher, an astronaut, everything that I could think of! But now that future is here, I have absolutely no idea what I want to be or what to do!

Being a grown up, an adult, is not easy, handling responsibility, make decisions, pay bills, all of that is really hard, especially when you are still living at home with your parents and they keep asking the same question over and over again: “what are you gonna do with your life...?” I get a lump in my neck every time I hear this question because I have honestly no idea what I am going to do with my life. And I don’t want to think of about it. Now that the future is here it means that there is no way back. Your time of decisions has run out and you have to do something. NOW! You have to work, you have to get a job, don’t like it? Well I don’t care. It doesn’t matter if you are miserable, you need money and you need to be something! There is no time to think! You had plenty of time to think when you were a kid, now that you are a “grown up” you have to jump in the sea and swim, even though you can’t swim you have to stay away from drowning. And it is tough! 

   So miss future is a bitch, a bully, not at all what you expect it to be and you have to deal with it. Do not cry, only baby’s cry, not adults.
   I go to bed every night with a knot in my stomach, thinking: tomorrow is another day that I have to think about the future. I am going to be told to find a job and been rubbed in the face that I quit school. Future is mean, not to know is a horrible feeling. Failing a test is horrible so what if I fail life. What will happen? I am afraid that I am going to fail life, that I am going to fall off a cliff into the sea and drown. So I just stay still. That way I won’t fall.

   But recently I have started to take tiny steps towards the future. It makes me feel good but it also makes me cry. I just want to be a little kid for a while! Just play with my toys and don’t worry about a thing.  I want to go to sleep and don’t wake up until I am ready to wake up.
   So now I am living day by day, job hunting and house hunting, working on my driver’s license so I can get away. I don’t want to but I have to. Hopefully life will get easier at some point, maybe when I don’t have to go through it alone. I pray every night that life will get better so now I am going to pray some more.

   Well that is enough of complaining for now. I got this of my chest and it feels a little lighter. So now I am going to watch Robin Hood and get inspired and laugh a little bit to lift my spirit. And my brother is dancing like Elvis so that also makes me laugh so don’t forget the little things that make you smile, even though you are having a bad day! Until next week, enjoy life and let go!            

Elisabeth

Lets Try This Again

So... Not a great start on my blog... two blog-posts in what, three months? Well there is an explanation but no excuse. Every single time I am going to write a post my head goes blank. I sit down with my computer and nothing happens! This is wired because there is no problem for me to write down stupid things and stories as long as I write it in a book. If I write something down in a book it makes more sense, get more real. It gets a soul!  So from now on I am going to write all my posts in my diary before I put it on my computer!

    It is also good to clear my head at nights. When I’m going to sleep it takes at least one or two hours to shut my head down.  But if I write down what I am thinking my brain shuts down easier. Like now, I am in my pj’s and was going to sleep when I thought about my blog and how I screwed up and was thinking of a way to fix it. So I started to make a blog post in my head, like I do so many nights, and said to myself: “ Elisabeth, go get your diary and write it down so you won’t forget it in the morning!” And here we go, I finally got a blog post up!
    But since we are catching up I am going to tell you what a great month October has been so far! I’ve met loads of new people and hardly been home. So here we go.
   I went on a “weekend-fun” where people all over the country from age 16 to 30 come together for one weekend and just have fun. We were 15 and I knew nobody when I came there. No one wanted to go with me and I really didn’t want to go on my own and almost dropped out. I am so glad that I didn´t, I had the most fun I have had in my life and made 14 new good friends! It was so great and this group of people were so nice and kind and welcomed me with opened arms! I have never in my life felt so good! I am shy and I find it hard to talk to new people and make new friends but it was so easy that weekend. I can’t describe how happy I felt!

   But moving on to the next thing I did. I went on a Peace Þing in my capital city, Reykjavík. A Peace Þing is a council about peace and how to make peace on earth by finding inner peace and it is hosted by scouts. There where scouts from all around Europe. I went, again, alone because no one wanted to come with me but when I arrived I was so pleased to see one of my dearest friend there so I wasn’t alone all the weekend. I also met new people there, four guys from Georgia, they were all really kind and funny and tought me some things about their nation so I added on my bucket list “visit Georgia”.
   So in October I made 18 new friends which is more then I’ve made the whole last year! I went to these things alone and I’m glad to say I am proud of myself for doing it! This time last year I was in so dark place that I wasn’t sure if I was gonna make it through life. But when you hit the bottom there is only one way to go and that way is up. Life is treating me wonderfully now and I’m glad I didn’t give up. I was on a cross roads and was so afraid to go on a new journey alone. But I finally decided to just close my eyes and jump, the only thing that could happen was that I would fall in the hole again but I decided to never give up and just climb up again, gladly I haven’t fallen yet but I am on a journey, alone, and it is hard but I am staying strong and keeping on! 

   But in the moment I am one lucky bunny. Beside making loads of new friends and learning new things about the world and myself this month I also got something new. A... new... CAR!!! I am so excited about it! I had been waiting for that moment for two years and finally it arrived! I named it Oliver and he is my new toy.
   Another excited news... wow I love life in the moment, I am going to Denmark in the end of November!!! I am going on a “youth-week” which is similar to the “weekend-fun” I went on beside it is a whole week and there are kids from age of 18 to 30 years old from all over Scandinavia and only 5-6 people from each country and I got chosen! I can’t believe it! And once and again I am going on this journey on my own but since it has worked so well for me travelling on my own I am not worried and not being worried is a good feeling. I am currently teaching my mom not to be worried and it is not working very well but hopefully we will get there in the end.
    Well I think that is it for now, I have no more excited news for you and I am getting really sleepy. But until next week, that is a promise, enjoy life and let go!!!

Elisabeth